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random jokes

Excuses for playing


What to tell your boss when:

A) You are suspected of playing DOOM:

1) "Oh, that must have been my screensaver you saw!"

2) "Those files are my Database program. DOOM stands for Database Online Operational Management. Yeah, your right, 'WAD' is a pretty strange extension, isn't it?"

3) "Yeah, I've heard some strange noises around here too. Rodents in the HVAC ducts, maybe?"

B) You are overheard playing DOOM:

1) "Growling? Oh, that was probably my stomach you heard; I worked straight through lunch today."

2) "Chainsaw? No, I don't have a chainsaw in here. Mrs. Smith said something about pruning the plants at the reception desk this morning, though; you might ask her."

3) "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was talking that loud. It was my wife on the phone, we're not getting along lately. Thorny Brown Bastard? Ha! It's a long story, she hates it when I call her that."

C) You are caught red-handed playing DOOM:

1) "You know, this is a great screensaver but the damn thing keeps locking up or something and I can't get it to go off."

2) "It's the latest in CAD!"

3) "It's an assertiveness training program."

4) "It's supposed to be 'Barney's Jungle Adventure' - I just picked it up for the kid, you know; but it looks pretty warped to me."

5) "I don't know what the hell it is, it said Lotus on the disk. Maybe we got some bad interference on the Net or something."

6) "I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure it's the 'KillingGlee' VGA virus. Don't know how I could have picked it up. Only way to get rid of it is to play it out."

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